Sep
In Which Lady B. Affords the Procrastinating Writer an Elegant Kick in the Petticoats
Miss Foley, you look out of sorts today. Whatever is the matter?
Well, thank you for your concern, Lady B, but I am irked at myself, if you really want to know.
Why is that?
(Heaving a sigh) Because I did not make my writing quota this week. You know, there isn’t nearly as much elegant lazing about in the author life as I had been led to expect by Hollywood movies. And…
Yes?
Well, on top of that I think I have a touch of OCD. I mean really, sometimes, you just have to laugh at your own foibles.
Pardon?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Or a case of Writer’s Rituals.
SQUAWK!
Indeed, Albert. Sounds dreadful! What is this cursed affliction, you poor dear?
Well, I’m sure it manifests differently in every individual, and in some poor souls, it is very severe and debilitating. But for me, it seems to manifest as a complete inability to get any writing done unless there are Perfect Conditions.
SQUAWK! LAZINESS! SLACKER!
I beg your pardon!
Quiet, Albert. Can’t you see she is at the mercy of her Delicate Artistic Temperment?
Yes, exactly! That’s the ticket!
Now dear, don’t fret. Have a spot of tea and I’m sure we’ll get all this quite sorted out. What are these Perfect Conditions you must have in order to have a good writing day?
Oh, it’s a very exacting regimen, Lady B. It begins first thing in the morning. I wake up, take care of my dog (Bingley), kiss Prince Eric goodbye as he heads out for work, get my coffee and sit down at my writing desk with what should be a very easy, sane, achievable daily goal. 6 clean pages every day. More is fine, but that is my minimum to keep on track for my deadline. And I am mad at myself because I couldn’t even manage THAT this week. Harrumph. Frustrated with myself.
My dear, no one is perfect. Perhaps one of your Ideal Conditions was not met.
My deadline is not going to care about that.
What other conditions must be in place?
I’ll make you a list:
1. Must wear loose, comfortable clothes. You cannot lose yourself in the story world if your mind is distracted by a too-tight corset.
From Ackermann's Repository, 1813
Ah, so one must be in deshabille.
Indeed. It’s the only way to write:
2. For a truly effective writing day, I must be actually writing new word-count when the clock strikes 8:00 A.M. [I get to my desk you see about 7:30. First I need a little time to do a read-back of what I was working on yesterday and review my notes that I made at the end of my previous day's writing session, to give me direction on where i need to go next. But I have to start writing the new material by 8:00 A.M. on the nose.] If it is 8:01 I start getting ancy. If it’s anything after 8:15, I am downright anxious. If it’s 9:00 A.M. before I’m writing, my day is as good as ruined. Thus, oversleeping would be a calamity.
Surely the rooster wakes you on time.
3. Well, not so much a rooster as my alarm clock. It’s an ingenious device you see that plays music at exactly the time you set it to start.
Incredible!
4. I have to wake up to pleasant, instrumental music only. No howling lyrics. Preferably classical. Bach or Rossini’s little Harp Concerto. Mozart and Haydn are also most welcome, and Vivaldi in a pinch. So far, so good. But if I forget to change the clock to CD and the radio comes blaring on first thing in the morning—or, horrors, if it’s a commercial–it’s hard to say what effect such a wakening might have on my Delicate Artistic Sensibilities.
SQUAWK! BOLLOCKS! CODSWALLOP! EXCUSES!
Albert, it’s not right to impugn a lady’s veracity.
5. There are many negative influences in the world that I cannot abide to encounter until I’ve got my creative work underway, such as the news with the latest dreary disaster in the world. Or if Prince Eric is in a grumpy mood. Or if I forgot to get the coffee ready the previous night, set to auto-brew, that can throw off my whole day. Like Mary Fisher (Meryl Streep in She-Devil), I must “think beautiful thoughts…”
Miss Foley, surely you are being facetious.
Well, maybe just a little–but still! It’s not fair. Some writers’ muses allow them to go skipping off to coffee shops and parks, but I have to shut myself up in my room in silence, and I cannot abide interruptions. That is why I had to stop working for 10 hours a day and cut my daily page count from 10-15 down to 6. A lot in life tends to fall apart if your head is in a book for 60+ hours a week. It’s not healthy!
No wonder all you writers are as mad as hatters.
Nonsense. I don’t trust anyone who’s not at least a little eccentric. (Another large sigh.) Oh, Lady B, if only I had a sliver of Lord Byron’s cleverness! I hear he dashed out his Childe Harold at nights over a 6 week period while consuming numerous bottles of wine–perfect on the first draft! Like Mozart!
Well…
What? (Leaning closer.) You know something?
You didn’t hear it from me, but you know, as much our lovely poet claimed to knock it out in one draft, revised manuscripts were found after his demise. He put out the rumor of getting it right the first time to enhance his public image. It made him seem like more of a genius, and of course, he didn’t want anyone knowing he actually cared about what he wrote.
He was that savvy a self-promoter in the early 19th century? He didn’t even have a Facebook page! Well, I am glad you told me so. Hearing he had to revise actually makes me feel much better. But–my, goodness…if the trick is to convince readers that you’re a carefree genius and writing is effortless, then I suppose should not be telling people all this about myself. Admitting that I sometimes don’t feel like writing at all, even after 2 million words in print. (Especially on weekends. Boo. HOO.)
It’s nice of you to invite us to your pity party, though.
My pleasure.
Now get back to work!
Right. I suppose I must. Even if conditions aren’t perfect?
Deal with it, Ms. Foley.
SQUAWK! DEADLINE AHEAD! SAVE YOURSELF! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Thank you, Albert. You are a very wise bird. And thanks, Lady B. I needed that.
Any time.
Well, Ballroomies (–roommates? –roomites? –roomarians?) I have unmasked myself as a great procrastinator. I think that’s why my “hemming and hawing” (as my Grandma would’ve said) over perfect conditions is just my way of getting going. But I have heard that writers–like baseball players!–a lot of times have odd rituals they are triggered to. Tolstoy (I think–might’ve been Dostoevsky) had to have his feet in warm water to write. At least I’m not that weird! LOL. It’s funny how the human brain works.
Am I just nuts or do you also have any little rituals you do to get yourself psyched up for a challenging task?
Sep 17, 2011
3:36 am
I have to get up every morning at least a half hour before everyone else, just to have that time of quiet before the clamour of the day starts. I am sooo NOT a morning person. If I don’t get that little time of perfect peace it totally ruins the day for me.
Sep 17, 2011
10:04 pm
If little children didn’t drag me from bed demanding waffles and whatnot, I seriously don’t know when I’d get up! I think I naturally have a sleep-late, wake-late pattern.
Sep 17, 2011
7:22 am
Fun post, Gaelen!
I have to have silence as well. Any little noise becomes a distraction that I have to investigate or obliterate. Email is something else I must obliterate. If I have unanswered emails sitting in my inbox (or anything else needing attention), I get antsy because there is something WAITING for me. It’s like I need clean slate to begin writing. Very annoying.
Sep 17, 2011
3:42 pm
Tracey, the lure of email, Facebook, twitter and all forms of wonderful communication can be dreadfully wicked. I see the need to have it all cleared and completed as an extension of my old need to have the office thoroughly clean and nothing else on my desk before I can write. Now? I unplug the internet and pile everything on my desk in one (very neat) heap on the floor. No emails! Desk clean! I am free to write! Works every time.
Sep 17, 2011
8:05 am
Good Morning, Ladies! Whew, I am glad I am not alone in my “eccentricities”… and ACK it’s now 8:04 so I must flee to my computer, but I will be back again soon!
Hope your weekend is off to a great start!
Sep 17, 2011
9:08 am
I’m a procrastinator as well when it comes to deadlines. I think my worse days were in college though. I remember putting off research papers until the day before they were due. Surprisingly I wrote some of my best papers under that kind of pressure, even though it’s a dreadful feeling knowing in x-amount of hours this HAS to be done.
Also to get myself prepared for some kind of a challenge I like to make lists (if it’s something I can make a list of) and if I have to present something to a group of people I talk out loud about what I need to say and how I’m going present it.
Sep 17, 2011
11:54 am
I think I do better undre pressure, too!
And oh YES on the lists! Big Amen to that!!
Sep 17, 2011
9:25 am
I am OCD but mine is more in the area of security. I check locks about 6 times a night, check windows the same, check the alarm clock the same. Mine came on when I had my break down though.
When I dabbled in writing in high school, I preferred to write at night and I used my old manual typewriter. Computers weren’t quite the thing yet for homes. LOL! I still prefer to start with pen and paper, then move from there.
Sep 17, 2011
11:54 am
Melanie, my dh does that, lol.
Sep 17, 2011
1:04 pm
We have lots in common you and I, Lady Foley. *smile*
Sep 17, 2011
4:03 pm
We do! I noticed that, too!
Sep 17, 2011
9:59 pm
And that is why I call you friend! *smile* You’re like another sister…only one I like..lol
Sep 18, 2011
3:04 pm
You are so sweet, Melanie! Right back at ya! LOL, it’s funny you mention this at a time of some sister drama I have going on right now. Well, it’s not bad at all… sis #4 is have her first bambino so we’re planning a baby shower…and I have No Idea what one does at a baby shower. I’m sure I’ll accidetnally do exactly what my sister doesn’t want me to do because I’m generally the Bad One of the fmaily, lol. Not for real…but that’s somehow the role I end up being cast in. Not sure how that happened–! lol. Always been that way. Maybe because I’ve always been the (pardon my french) ball-busting firstborn… hmm…. lol. Thx for the sweet words, they made my day!
Sep 17, 2011
11:23 am
I am a self-proclaimed proscrastinator from way back but once I start writing it’s hard for me to stop. If allowed, I would write continuously only taking breaks to pee and get another diet soda. However, my problem is getting to the computer, turning it on and sitting my butt in the chair. I know that if I was actually being paid to write, I would have no problem getting into that position but until that time comes, all of my other work comes first. After a day of chores and other responsibilities, I usually sit down around 5 in the afternoon and write until it’s time to fix dinner which ends up late more often than it should. My best time to write is after midnight … no phones, no dogs needing to go out, no husbands needing this or that and it’s blissfully quiet but for the sound of the computer fan and the tap tap of the keys on the keyboard. I can knock out chapters if left alone if I don’t fall asleep, that is. I’ve promised myself that if I ever get sold and can legitimately call my writing my job, I’ll let nothing get in my way – you know that won’t happen, I’ll still do the chores and other things first then sit down to write – the difference will be that I will be able to say ‘go away, I’m workin’ here’ when someone says they need clean undies. : )
Sep 17, 2011
12:00 pm
You’re right, I am a slug. lol. Now I feel guilty!!! Amy, I’ll bet would be a good soldier about it. Some days are easier than others, shrug.
And whoa, night owl! My friend Alexandra Hawkins got published that way. She wrote her books from 12-3 AM (ack, ack, ACK) after kiddies and husband went to sleep. I was in AWE of her. I don’t have kids, which has obviously been a big factor in my ability to focus on writing and took non-brain-drain jobs before I sold because I didn’t have the responsibility of providing for kids. Not sure if that was the right decision, but here we are. And might still be kids in my future, who knows.
For the record, I think a child is a much better thing to have at the end of the day than a published novel. Each month hundreds of new novels are released and then they fade away and are forgotten. Who knows who won the Pulitzer last year? I can’t even remember who jsut won the Rita in my category, lol. But your child is a treasure you’ll have all your life. I guess the luckiest people have both.
Sep 18, 2011
12:52 am
Gaelen, I agree with you about the value of having a child being greater than anything even a published novel. My hubby and I tried for years but I wasn’t able to carry to term so now it’s just 4-legged children for us. My 100 lb baby boy is enough right now but I’d really love to a have playmate for him even though it means more work. Family will always come first but my true love has always been writing and determination is my middle name. ; )
Sep 18, 2011
2:58 pm
Hi Amy, I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. One of the things I follow is the world of international adoption. There are soooo many kids who need homes out there in the world. Of course in the US, too. That is probably the route I would be more likely to go someday. It dawned on me one day that just about every book I’ve ever written has had little ragtag homeless street children tagging along after the hero and heroine, so apparently it’s something thatGod put on my heart. There’s a LOT of challenges one has to be ready for, but I guess we’ll see! xo, G
Sep 17, 2011
10:02 pm
Amy, that’s how I wrote my first book. Late at night, on weekends, during naptime… It’s not easy!
Sep 18, 2011
12:57 am
Tessa, I suspect a lot of writers spend late nights honing their craft because it becomes a guilty pleasure when you’re not being paid to do it. I suspect that even if I was being paid, I’d still be a night writer … I’ve always been a night owl and my creativity seems to be at its best then. It’s definitely not easy but then nothing you truly love doing is, is it? I aspire to be as good as I can be and have always known that takes hard work. : )
Sep 17, 2011
11:38 am
Glad you found a schedule that works, Gaelen!
I love short-term pushes like Fast Draft or BIAW. I wrote down “tenacity increases in proportion to investment” once (God knows where I read it). When I have a framework as a result of a fast-and-crazy push, it helps me get back to work on longer-term revisions when there are disruptions. I love timers, too, as in ‘the writing day may be ruined but let’s just see what happens for the next 20 minutes.’
Sep 17, 2011
10:01 pm
Timers are great! And not just for writing.
“How much housework can I do in 20 minutes…” for example.
Sep 18, 2011
12:59 am
LOL!!! It’s truly amazing just how much housework you can get done in 20 minutes … done that too many times to count. I live by the clock except when I’m writing … I’ve often thought about setting a timer to make me stop but then I’d probably end up watching it.
Sep 18, 2011
1:31 pm
Absolutely! It’s amazing how dust bunnies, dishes & dirty clothes can be vanquished, 10 minutes at a time.
Sep 17, 2011
11:53 am
Hello again! Thanks so much for chiming in, you guys! Well, I did pretty well this morning, 4 1/2 pp so far, but I can come back and finish the other page and a half after lunch.
I love timers, too! Very smart idea. Wendy, what you described is hard for me, though, like thinking about a small snatch of time. I’ve heard that women with kids learn to do that by necessity but at this point, that’s my hurdle. There’s a part of me that feels like, if I don’t have 2 full hours at least ahead of me, then it’s pointless. I know, that’s awful! LOL.
I have also tried BIAW (or a month in my case) and found that really useful, too, but ultimately decided to clean up each day’s work rather than go for high page count, because when I had a finished ms it was in such bad shape that the whole thing needed rewritten, more or less. shrug.
I will say though that it certainly took the psychological pressure off, knowing that I had a finished ms, no matter how much cleanup it needed. that’s for sure!
Sep 18, 2011
1:02 am
Gaelen, I’d say you did a good day’s work considering it was a Saturday and delightfully cool out today. Good job and we are thankful for the time you put into it because we, the readers, benefit from it. Looking forward to your next book. xoxo
Sep 18, 2011
2:59 pm
You are too kind! *g* Thanks, Ames!
Sep 17, 2011
12:18 pm
Cute doggie! My son has a Bichon named Dooby. We love him. Anyway, my ritual is I make alot of lists. I love the feeling of drawing a line through an accomplished task.
Sep 17, 2011
12:48 pm
Awww Dooby. I thought it said Dobby for a second like that little elf in Harry Potter.
I love crossing stuff off my list, too!
Sep 17, 2011
1:18 pm
Dooby-as in a joint. My son has a strange sense of humor.
Sep 17, 2011
4:04 pm
Oh geez! lol.
Sep 17, 2011
3:39 pm
Lists are my beloved friends, susan. I can’t seem to think unless I have a list. Even if my tasks are manifold, if they are on a list they don’t daunt me too horridly.
Sep 17, 2011
1:06 pm
I too am a big procrastinator and have known the joys of watching a lovely sunrise as I pull yet another all nighter, lol. I tried not to do it often, but maybe it’s something about the panic and adrenaline that gave me the push I needed? These days, I try to break things up into small manageable chunks so I don’t get overwhelmed and end up trying to frantically get everything done at the last minute.
I’m also one of those who needs quiet when I’m reading and/or writing. That’s why I the Quiet Ride cars on the train-no talking, no cellphones, just blissful quiet!
But I totally know what you mean about routines Gaelen. Every morning, I pick up the Metro so I can glance at the headlines, and so I can do the Sudoku puzzle on the way home. If I can’t find a copy, it totally throws off my whole day.
Sep 17, 2011
4:01 pm
Wow, a Sodoku ritual! that’s pretty neat! lol.
Sep 17, 2011
3:19 pm
First, your dog is adorable. Love bichons.
So glad you (or rather Lady B) brought up Byron. I’ve seen a lot of writers’ MSS and very few didn’t go in for extensive revisions. Mozart on the other hand … Wouldn’t it be marvelous to have perfect chapters just flow from one’s fingers?
I’m horribly unscheduled. I write like a demon when I have a scene all sketched out in my head, or when deadline approaches, but can go days without managing a word when I’m stuck. I always swear I’ll gain the discipline to make a daily page count but it never works. It’s a miracle I ever finish a book.
Sep 17, 2011
4:06 pm
Thank you, Miranda!! I saw a bichon bumper sticker once that I need to buy, it said: Bichons–almost like a dog, but better!
They are So. Sensitive. and very cuddly.
Sep 17, 2011
9:57 pm
You sound like me, Miranda! I might write one page in a day, and then ten the next. Without fail, life laughs in the face of my attempts to make schedules.
Sep 17, 2011
3:37 pm
LOL, Gaelen. “I don’t trust anyone who’s not at least a little eccentric.” Quite right! But I suspect Lady B will agree that all of our lovely guests here are precisely that, so we’re in comfortably trustworthy company.
To ready myself for a Daunting Task, I either A) eat cookies or B) drink champagne. Depending on the particular sort of Daunting Task, of course. But since I pretty much do A and/or B when I’m celebrating too, I occasionally muddle myself until I don’t know whether I’m battening down the hatches for a storm or shooting off skyrockets for a party. I guess I should probably come up with another sort of Ritual of Preparation. Hm… I’ll have to think about this. Excuse me while me and my delicate artistic sensibilities retire for further thought on the matter.
Sep 17, 2011
4:03 pm
Katharine, you are so funny. lol. Cookies and champagne indeed!
And yes, all the best people are a little nuts.
Sep 17, 2011
10:00 pm
Hah! I am late to the party because I *actually knuckled down* today.
I envy all of you creatures of routine. And those of you who wake up ready to work.
I saw the tweet the other day (and apologies, I don’t remember who it was from – someone I follow RTd it) that went something like, “Help! My getting-work-done machine is the same object as my procrastinating machine! Major design flaw.”
For me, this is so true! I need to be working on my computer, and yet all my most tempting distractions are just a click away. So sometimes I have to just grab a notebook and pen and get away from the computer entirely. Or take the laptop somewhere without internet.
When I am really unmotivated, I’ve even been known to clean, just to avoid working.
Sep 18, 2011
1:14 am
Yikes Tessa, now that’s true procrastination when cleaning is more appealing than writing. I can’t think of any time when I said, “gee, I really don’t want to write or do anything else so I’ll go clean instead.” You’re a better woman than me, my dear.
I do have to confess that in order for me to not feel like I’m cheating the house, I do the cleaning first then write. But if I’m avoiding writing for any reason, I’m more likely to visit a blog (hee hee) or spend more time on FB than I should or even better, take the dog for yet another walk. : )
Sep 18, 2011
3:00 pm
Amy what kind of a giganto dog do you have??
And Tessa, that’s great that you were able to be so productive yesterday! You made up for the both of us. lol.