Dec
‘Tis the Season!
It is the first of December, and the authoresses have gathered in their finest holiday frocks to celebrate the official beginning of this festive month. Gaelen & Miranda are chatting with a clutch of young women fluttering fans, Sabrina is deep in conversation with her cousin Mary, Katharine is feeding Albert a lobster patty, and Tessa…well she’s hovering over the Ratafia, so one can only hope she’s spiking it.
Lady B: “There are only five of you.”
The authoresses count. Lady B does not wait for someone to speak.
Lady B: ”Where is Miss MacLean?”
Sabrina: Oh, I’m sure she’ll be here.
Gaelen: She said she would be here. She was stopping on the way for something, but…
Lady B (sniffs): ”Well, she is late. Punctuality is a mark of good breeding.”
Miranda: Well, I’m not sure Sarah cares much for–
The doors to the ballroom fly open and Sarah enters with a too-loud cry and a large metal contraption in hand: I’m here!
Miranda: -good breeding.
Lady B raises a brow: “Yes. I’m beginning to see that.”
Sabrina: To be fair, no one likes a goody goody.
Lady B: “I would stay out of this particular conversation if I were you, Miss Darby.”
Tessa: Ratafia, Sabrina?
Sabrina: Don’t mind if I do!
Sarah, waving behind her at two footmen hovering on the other side of the ballroom doors: Come on! She turns to Lady B. I promise, you’re going to forgive me for being late when you see what I–
Lady B: “Miss MacLean! Is that a…fir tree? In my ballroom?”
Sarah, with a wide smile: It is! Happy Christmas!
Lady B, flustered: “Is it customary to murder flora as a gift in…where was it you were from?”
Sarah: Rhode Island, my lady.
Lady B: “Right. One of the earlier colonies, wasn’t it?”
Sarah: Yes, my lady.
Lady B raises a brow: “One of the troublesome ones.”
Sarah grins: Yes, my lady.
Lady B: “At any rate. What are you doing commandeering my footmen to interrupt my ball with this…this…”
Sarah: Christmas tree!
Lady B blinks.
Miranda steps in: Sarah…they don’t have them here. Not yet.
Sarah: Oh sh–
Katharine coughs loudly to cover the end of the sentence.
Lady B turns to her: “Are you quite well, Miss Ashe?”
Katharine: Oh, yes, my lady. Thank you. I just…er…that is…the Ratafia…
Tessa, proudly: It’s strong.
Lady B nods: As it should be. Turning back to Sarah. “Now, what did you call this…item?”
Sarah (to Sabrina): It really is a problem this whole time/space continuum thing.
Sabrina: I’ve been saying that.
Sarah: What year is it anyway? Is Charlotte still alive?
The authoresses look from one to the other.
Miranda: I’m guessing yes.
Lady B gasps: “You’re guessing? Of course Queen Charlotte is alive! You should be ashamed of suggesting otherwise, Miss MacLean!”
Sarah: My apologies, my lady. Sometimes I get confused. A beat. Being American and all.
Lady B cocks an eyebrow.
Sarah hurries to move on, waving the footmen to the edge of the ballroom where a collection of heroes and heroines move out of the way. As she speaks, she crouches low and helps plant the tree inside the metal vise. Lady B watches, skeptically.
Sarah: At any rate…take my word for it, Lady B…the Christmas Tree is soon to be all the rage! They’re very popular in Germany. And in Austria!
Lady B does not seem convinced. Sarah looks for support from the troops. “A little backup, team?”
Gaelen: Huge in the Rhineland.
Lady B: The Rhineland?
Gaelen holds out her empty Ratafia cup. Tessa fills it.
Tessa: Yes. The Rhineland.
Miranda snickers.
Sarah: And I promise you, the Royal family absolutely has Christmas tree. Queen Charlotte loves them.
Lady B: “How is it you know this, Miss MacLean?”
Sarah (aside to Sabrina): I suppose Queen Victoria’s diaries aren’t the right answer?
Sabrina shakes her head. You might as well reference aliens.
Sarah, inspired: A lady never divulges her sources, Lady B.
Lady B seems to understand this adage: ”Quite. So, the tree simply stands there?”
Sarah, standing and stepping back to admire her handiwork: Well, traditionally, one decorates it.With candles…ribbon…spun sugar ornaments…
Lady B raises her brows: “From the Rhineland?”
Gaelen interjects: Absolutely.
Lady B: “How…odd. I should not be surprised, though, if it comes from Germany.” She returns her attention to Sarah. ”And for how long does it remain in the ballroom?”
Sarah: At least through Christmas day. But you’ll see, once it’s decorated, you’ll love it and want to keep it around.
Lady B raises a brow: “We shall see if I ‘love it,’ Miss MacLean.”
Sarah: Of course.
Albert flies to perch himself at the very top of the tree.
Sarah: In my house, we put an angel at the top of the tree, you know.
<squawk!> Tis the Season!! <squawk!>
Lady B considers the tree and her beloved bird for a moment: It appears we do the same at Beaufetheringstone House.
—
December snuck up on me this year! I feel so behind–I’ve already received three holiday cards, and the decorations are going up around the neighborhood for Christmas–I can’t believe it.
Tradition in our house is to put our tree up this weekend and watch Love Actually while we decorate. What is your favorite Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus tradition?
Dec 1, 2011
5:25 am
Ooohh! Love Actually! It’s been a while since I’ve watched that. My favorite Christmas tradition is when we prepare the ingredients for a Fruit Salad (the deadly kind–cream, condensed milk, fruits ;D) on the afternoon of the 24th (drain fruit cocktail, chill the cream) and then we go to Church at 10p.m (yup. 10p.m) and upon our return, we make the salad, wait up until midnight (or sleep, if we’re feeling old), then we open the gifts and finally, we eat the salad!
Dec 1, 2011
12:05 pm
I’m with Cate, B! I’d love to have the recipe for that fruit salad (which sounds devastating and delish!)
Dec 1, 2011
8:27 pm
To Cate and Sarah:
Fruit Salad Recipe
(2) 15 oz. cans of fruit cocktail
(2) 250 ml packs of all-purpose cream
1 can of condensed milk (300ml) *not evaporated
1. Drain the fruit cocktail and let it stand for 10-12 hours (we let it drain for that long so the cream won’t run when you add the cocktail to it).
2. Chill the cream, don’t freeze.
3. After 10-12 hours, mix the chilled cream and the condensed milk in a bowl. We usually use 3/4 of the condensed milk. Mix them well and make sure there are no lumps.
4. Fold in the drained cocktail to the cream mixture, cover the bowl with plastic/saran wrap and chill for 30 min.-1 hour to make sure the cocktail sets in with the cream nicely. Enjoy!
Oh, and here in the Philippines, we usually add young coconut meat strips and drain them with the cocktail. I’m not sure if it’s available in the U.S. in December. Anyway, the salad is still good without it!
Cheers, everyone!
Dec 2, 2011
9:41 pm
Whoops! Make that 3-4 cans of fruit cocktail
Cheers!
Dec 1, 2011
10:59 am
I love to start the holiday with classic holiday movies like White Christmas, It’s A Wonderful Life… PS B… I’d like more of that receipe of that fruit salad…
Dec 1, 2011
12:06 pm
There’s something about those movies, isn’t there, Cate! My favorite oldie is Miracle on 34th Street. That one gets me every time!
Dec 1, 2011
12:33 pm
I love Miracle on 34th St! Holiday cheer + courtroom drama + romance. Doesn’t get any better.
Dec 1, 2011
11:59 am
Sarah, I loved this posting … I’m still grinning like a fool after laughing so hard I sent myself into a coughing fit which isn’t difficult to do right now … been sick all week. Anyway, I’m so glad you introduced Lady B. to the Christmas Tree, it’s the best tradition we have.
First weekend in December, tree goes up to the sound of Christmas music and I start to decorate. I usually work on the decos slowly until I have the interior of the house including the salle de bains decorated with everything Christmas. The outside gets done when I can get hubby to help and hope the lights work. LOVE ACTUALLY has become our Christmas tradition in addition to NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION. We used to watch NLCV on Christmas Eve but now do LOVE ACTUALLY instead (swoon) … now we watch NLCV some evening before.
Our only other absolute tradition is Santa Visits to the local homeless shelters. My hubby does Santa in a suit I made for him with actual reindeer buttons and we present gifts provided by his employer to those children less fortunate. Talk about feeling the spirit of Christmas … it’s the moment that makes the holiday.
Happy December everyone!!
Dec 1, 2011
12:11 pm
We used to do Elf on tree-trimming day…but yeah, Love Actually has totally usurped it. It’s one of my favorite movies…period…and it’s wonderful to watch at Christmas! And who doesn’t love the Christmas Lobster?
Dec 1, 2011
12:35 pm
“Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day…”
Best Christmas Pageant Ever.
I*love* Love, Actually, too. Just adore that movie. So many bits of it have become part of my everyday vocabulary.
“Just in cases.”
*swoon*
Dec 1, 2011
12:39 pm
Thorough *ditto* on Love Actually!
Dec 1, 2011
1:31 pm
LOL!!! Tessa, “just in cases” is my favorite line … it’s what my hubby and I say to each other ever since seeing this movie the first time, it’s become our sweet endearment. It is the best Christmas Pageant ever and yes, Sarah, who can resist the Christmas Lobster! I hope you dvd’s never wear out!
Dec 1, 2011
7:00 pm
Now I’m thinking about my favorite moment from Love Actually…which changes all the time. But I think it probably has to be when Hugh Grant has his bodyguard sing carols to the small child and is shocked by the voice. The look on his face is fabulous!
Dec 1, 2011
7:17 pm
“there was more than one lobster present at the birth of jesus?”
Dec 1, 2011
7:17 pm
I love that part, but I truly love the little boy (who lost his mommy, and I freaking cry buckets over that) who learns drums just to impress the girl he likes. I love when they perform, and then he chases her to the airport. It’s so cute!
Dec 1, 2011
8:29 pm
I bawl whenever the part comes up when the guy comes up to Keira Knightley with his large message cards and finally tells her his secret. Breaks my heart, but I love it all the same
Dec 1, 2011
12:45 pm
Did any of you ladies ever watch the Roswell series on TV? There’s one Christmas episode from the (dopey) later seasons in which Max secretly and furtively heals a whole bunch of terminally ill children in a hospital. I find myself watching it every Christmas and bawling like a fool. It’s soo good.
Dec 1, 2011
6:49 pm
Do you know, I never got into Roswell? I always feel like I missed out.
Dec 1, 2011
12:37 pm
Sarah, I’m SO glad you’ve introduced Lady B to Christmas trees! The tree is one of my favorite traditions (I put a star atop mine and hang tiny angels all around the top!). But my most treasured tradition is our creche. We set up little statues of the Holy Family and barn animals on one end of the mantle, with shepherds and angels nearby (they actually enter the scene on Christmas Eve), and the Magi a little further off (they come center stage on Epiphany, with their camels!). Then, all along the mantle, we make a procession of animals–glass and porcelain and plastic and whatever tiny statuettes anybody wants to donate–traveling toward the manger where they’ll find the baby on Christmas day. I do this after the tree goes up nearby, so it’s all in the twinkly glow of the lights. And of course… perhaps this goes without saying… there are cookies involved. And champagne.
Oh, and good luck with your holiday preparations, Sarah! I’m right there in the same lagging boat (er- ship, as it were) with you. Tessa, could you pour me another? I think I’m going to need it.
Happy holiday season everybody!
Dec 1, 2011
6:50 pm
We’re headed out to buy the tree on Saturday, I think. It is my favorite part of the Christmas season…even though this year we’re in London and Rhode Island this month so we won’t get near as much time with it as I’d like.
Dec 1, 2011
12:43 pm
It’s a Festivus miracle!
Sorry, I just had to get that out.
My holiday tradition is to procrastinate. It’s pretty entrenched by now. :/
We’ll try to get our tree up this weekend, I suspect.
We only do a few strings of lights on our porch, but we love going around to look at lights on a few streets in our neighborhood where they go all out. One street rents like four cherry-pickers and they hang these giant, glowing Christmas ornaments from every tree up and down the street. It’s really magical. My kids beg to drive down it every day.
Dec 1, 2011
6:52 pm
I love those streets–the ones where everyone seems to be like the Griswolds and you wonder how it is they afford the electric bills! So fun!
Dec 1, 2011
12:44 pm
My father is a Christmas-aholic. He, my youngest cousin (11) and I have already put up our 1250 outdoor lights, 3 inflatable scenes, and the outdoor ferris wheel. Yup. We are *those* people. He also does the whole interior so that by Christmas the house looks like Santa’s Village. Though the prep is arduous, and my mother often shakes her head in disbelief, the payout is always impressive and really gets everyone in the mood on the big day. My mom cooks for hours and we have the whole family and any one else who would like to join over for dinner at presents. The kids (of all ages) love finding whatever’s new and pressing all the buttons to make various stuffed animals sing atrocious versions of popular songs. Huzzah!
Dec 1, 2011
2:08 pm
Did you see the ‘time saving decor’ at Ellen DeGeneres’
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/11/time-saving_decoration_1130.php
It’s a hoot!!
Dec 1, 2011
4:18 pm
Ahhhh yes! That is fabulous indeed. Something for our neighbors to consider….
. Thanks!
Dec 1, 2011
6:53 pm
Hahah. I love those people, Catie! Your neighborhood loves you for it. I promise. Lovely!
Dec 1, 2011
12:49 pm
Merry, merry, all! Our Christmas traditions involve a lot of baking, Advent readings, and (don’t laugh) watching Lord of the Rings. My parents are divorced so we go to Dad’s house in Christmas Eve and Mom’s house on Christmas day…but what are you gonna do. Oh, and we go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. We love the candlelight service and the choir hymns.
LOL on the procrastination ritual. I hear you on that!
I wanted to invite everyone to come visit my shiny new website. It’s just launched now and I’m super proud of it because it’s all DIY. Visit me at http://www.gaelenfoley.com
Watch my Queenie cartoon video and Read Chapter One of MY RUTHLESS PRINCE, going on sale at the end of this month!!!
Happy December ~
Gaelen
Dec 1, 2011
1:33 pm
Gaelen’s new site is beautiful! : )
Dec 1, 2011
3:51 pm
Congrats on the new website, Gaelen! It’s beautiful!
Dec 1, 2011
4:13 pm
When LOTR was new, we spent three Christmases in a row seeing the trilogy in the theater. We’d do Episcopalian Christmas Eve with midnight mass, then the movie and take out Chinese food (the traditional New York Jewish Christmas
) One year it snowed 18 inches during the film (those movies are looong) and the drive home was more of an adventure than we’d planned. But hot damn that mooshu pork tasted good.
Dec 1, 2011
4:22 pm
Just feeding off the LOTR theme, I took a Tolkien course in college which was fantastic. Coincidentally, I am having an LOTR movie night tomorrow! But alas, “this is not that day”.
Nerd alert!
Dec 1, 2011
6:04 pm
No way, that was cool. *g* Nicely done!
Dec 1, 2011
6:54 pm
Gorgeous new site, Gaelen! You must be thrilled! And I love that Queenie cartoon!
Dec 1, 2011
1:36 pm
Um! Procrastination! Put everything off til the last minute and then panic.
Every year I swear I’ll be more organised and every year I fail miserably.
Hence, my very favourite Christmas tradition, 6pm Christmas Eve when all the shops are shut, a large glass of Bailey’s. Cos by that point if I haven’t got it I can’t get it. Other than that I love kids at this time of year, the sense of anticipation from them all is amazing.
Gaelen, the new website is fab. You and Sarah are terrible for teasing us with the first chapters, I didn’t want to stop either story. *g*
Dec 1, 2011
6:55 pm
Hahah, Beebs. I’m with you on the cup of Christmas cheer. I mean, we need that to get through the family drama, right?
Thanks for reading the first chapter of ROGUE! Can’t wait to hear what you think when you get the whole book!
Dec 1, 2011
7:40 pm
So couldn’t cope without the cup of Christmas cheer.
Really looking forward to everyone’s new books in the New Year, they’re all on the wish list. *g*
Dec 1, 2011
1:53 pm
Christmas is, hands down, my favorite time of year, but it’s not really Christmas until I’ve watched the classic “animated” Christmas movies, especially “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” I’m quite fond of Hermey the Elf who wanted to be a dentist. And the Island of Misfit toys.
We used to have a tradition of making gingerbread houses from scratch – like, homemade gingerbread cast into these ancient metal molds, homemade icing to put all the pieces together, the whole nine yards. My grandparents would judge who’s house was the most festive, so it became very competitive as we got older.
(Meanwhile, I’m still giggling over Rhode Island being “one of the troublesome ones” – it’s totally true!)
Dec 1, 2011
6:56 pm
Oh, who am I kidding, Meredith? Rhode Island is *still* one of the troublesome ones!
I love those claymation (or whatever) Christmas shows. We don’t have kids, so we never end up watching them when they’re on…but this year, I should lobby for it! Anything with Burl Ives makes me happy!
Dec 1, 2011
4:07 pm
Christmas Bah humbug! My kids are gown and live in other bothersome colonies. My house is small so I have 6 Christmas trees. The tallest is 4’11″. Every room has something festive. No outdoor lights this year as my yard is dead from the heat of this summer. I have to watch White Christmas, Holiday Inn, Love Actually, Charlie Brown and drink Godiva Liqueur. Listening to Christmas music at work.. Bob Rivers Twisted Christmas.
Gaelen, sit is awesome. Great job!
Dec 1, 2011
4:19 pm
Yay, Lady Susan! I admire a woman with 6 trees.
Dec 1, 2011
5:52 pm
I haven’t even opened the big ornament boxes in the garage. Won’t admit to how many packing boxes I have of baking utensils. I did buy two village houses and a gazebo that I already had. I get all my next years decorations at the day after Christmas sale.
Dec 1, 2011
6:07 pm
Muchas gracias!
I forgot to plug my favorite Christmas movie,which is actually a newer one, and another new tradition for us, watching A CHRISTMAS CAROL. The one that came out a couple years ago in 3D (optional) CG/mo-cap with Jim Carrey and Gary Oldman doing the voices. It is sooo wonderful and so much inthe spirit of Dickens. It makes me happy, and the Andrea Bocelli singing a Christmas song at the end is divine.
You guys should see that, if you haven’t because thru the magic of Computer Generated Graphics they reacreate Victorian London down to the last jot. It’s wonderful!!!
xo,
Gaelen
PS–Thx all for the kudos on the site! It is my magnum opus in between books!
Dec 1, 2011
6:57 pm
Six trees sounds like a win to me, Susan! Very impressive…I can’t seem to get the one up!
Dec 1, 2011
4:18 pm
Fabulous post, Sarah! Thank God the Germans brought them over – I adore my Christmas tree. I buy a few special ornaments every year (I’m very picky and spend lots of money in museum shops) and always enjoy rediscovering my collection as my daughter and I decorate the tree and listen to Phil Specter’s Christmas album. There’s nothing like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer against the wall of sound.
Since we’re doing a little seasonal self-promotion, I’d like to draw our visitors’ attention to a Christmas story I wrote a couple of years ago, A Gift For a Princess. If you haven’t already seen it, it’s free on my wesbite. http://www.mirandaneville.com/contentpage.php?contentid=0015
Dec 1, 2011
6:59 pm
I’m an ornament person, too, Miranda. I buy one a year, and I always give them as gifts…because I love thinking about the people who gave them to me.
And isn’t there always the one in the box that makes you go, “where on earth did this one come from?”
Dec 1, 2011
7:40 pm
“Where did it come from and if I bought this I must have been drunk.”
I have a box of ornaments that I deem too ugly to hang, but my daughter, who is much nicer than me (she always wants to buy the lop-sided Christmas tree because she worries that no one else will and its feelings ill be hurt) sneaks them on when I’m not looking.
Dec 1, 2011
7:52 pm
Your daughter and I would be on the same team, Miranda. When I had my first studio apartment, I had a tree trimming and one of my best friends in the world brought me an ornament he made out of the inside of a computer. It had wires and weirdness on it. I love it. And I hang it proudly every year. And my husband always says, “Do we have to this year?” To which I always reply: “YES. It’s an ORNAMENT. FROM DAN. Whom we LOVE.”
Come to think of it…that’s become a Christmas tradition, too!
Dec 1, 2011
10:28 pm
That sounds like a fabulous ornament! I want a Dan inside-of-a-computer work of art.
Dec 1, 2011
7:35 pm
I read this and enjoyed it Miranda, it’s a nice tie-in to the Burgundy Club.
Dec 1, 2011
9:50 pm
Thanks, Beebs!
Dec 1, 2011
6:09 pm
Re. Christmas Dinner…I”m thinking of trying to cook a goose for the first time. Have any of you ever cooked a goose?
Gee, your goose is cooked… sorry… never thought I’d have a use for that literally…
But no really, I saw they have them at the grocery store. I’ve done turkeys, whole chickens…how hard can it be??
Advice from any culinary experts here?
Dec 1, 2011
6:58 pm
I think goose is fattier than turkey, Gael…more like duck. I’ve never cooked one (except in the metaphorical sense), but I know you’ll do fabulously! Take pictures!
Dec 1, 2011
9:28 pm
Here you go, Gaelen! http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/the-best-of/roasted-christmas-goose-recipe/index.html
Good luck and enjoy!
I have cooked goose before, but I have to say I wasn’t a big fan. But then, i don’t like duck or the dark meat of chicken either. Goose can be very greasy/fatty. My husband loves it, though.
Dec 1, 2011
7:22 pm
Until we had children (so many sentences start this way, heehee), my DH and I would hit the movies and Chinese on Xmas Day. We are both Jewish, but MY dad is Catholic, so now we celebrate Xmas, b/c of the boys. But we also do Hanukkah. (My children are very confused.) Obviously we aren’t very religious, but it’s a nice way to get together and have family bonding time…with lots of food…and gifts for the kids. Lots of gifts. That require batteries and a doctorate in physics to put together.
Dec 1, 2011
7:50 pm
Ha! That’s what I’m told by my friends with kids…which is why I buy blocks, books, bears and clothes instead of toys that require assembly!
Dec 1, 2011
7:22 pm
Sorry I’m so late to the party! (So unlike me, I know, lol)
What a fun post Sarah!
One of my favorite holiday traditions is to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. To me, it isn’t Christmas until I watch it on TV.
And yes, count me in among those who love Love Actually, and will likely be watching it this weekend. I have to say, the Emma Thompson/Alan Rickman storyline was so sad to me. Emma Thompson was heartbreaking when she found out.
The story with Liam Neeson’s step-son was adorable. How cute was he, learning the drums to impress a girl??
My co-workers and I will also be doing Christmas stockings for The Salvation Army this year, which is a tradition I hope will continue.
Dec 1, 2011
7:48 pm
I know that it’s not popular to say it, but the Emma Thompson/Alan Rickman story line is my favorite. It’s so devastating and heartbreaking…and every time she opens that Joni Mitchell CD I sob. SOB. But it’s so perfect. And so real. And I can’t help but love it for that.
Dec 13, 2011
2:57 pm
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Dec 15, 2011
5:50 am
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Dec 2, 2011
12:48 am
Love the post, Sarah! Late commenting because I’ve had no power for last 17 hrs.
I’ve never had my own Christmas tree but I do gave one lovely ornament. We celebrate at my inlaws and I love when I get to help decorate.
So happy to see the Ballroom begin the holiday decorations.
Dec 2, 2011
1:10 am
I adore Love Actually! So much to love about it, I wouldn’t know where to begin.
We have a traditional Italian Christmas Eve which is how I thought everyone celebrated. Assorted fish dishes and snackies. Then at midnight we process the infant Jesus through the house singing an old Italian Christmas carol before placing him in the creche set up in my mother’s living room complete with shepards, donkeys, ice skaters on a desilvered mirror, wise men and the Eiffel Tower.
At our house, we watch It’s A Wonderful Life and put up my Bedford Falls village. It’s A Wonderful Life is another favorite movie of mine.
Dec 2, 2011
6:18 pm
My tradition is to put up my tree on Black Friday with favorite Christmas music as my inspiration then start my Christmas baking and candy making the next day but the retail job messed with that schedule this year. The tree is up but, so far, no time for the other decorations. Hoping to correct that Sunday (Yeah! A day off work!) then get started on the baking and chocolate making. I may be behind schedule but not to worry. This merry Christmas elf will prevail!
Jul 14, 2012
8:33 am
[...] Katharine: I did, my lady. You see, it’s our first anniversary here…and we were reminiscing–thinking about all the lovely times we’ve had thanks to yours and Lord B’s generosity…do you recall, for example, the time when Albert topped your first Christmas Tree? [...]