May
The Season Has Begun
Lady B: It’s May at last, and that means the Season has arrived! The most exciting part of the year is finally upon us, and all the best people have now returned to Town–including my dear school friend, Lady John Bramblethwaite (married a younger son of the Duke of Donothing, don’t you know). This year, the Bramblethwaites are celebrating the debut of their eldest daughter, Pansy (bit of a milk-and-water miss, but I’m sure we can soon do something about that with our influence). Lady John promised to bring the gel to me directly so that I may assist in her introduction into Society. Ah, here they are now!
Butler (stepping into the drawing room): Madam, your guests–
Lady John Bramblethwaite: Heliotrope! (She glides over - air kisses on both cheeks exchanged.)
Lady B: Calliope! How lovely to see you again. Well, now, this must be Miss Bramblethwaite.
Lady John: Yes, this is my Pansy.
Pansy (with a curtsy): How do you do, Lady Beaufetheringstone? I’m so honored to meet you.
Lady John (whispering): It’s pronounced Batman! I told you in the carriage.
Pansy: Oh, dear me, I-I’m so sorry, my lady–
Lady B: Pish-posh, not at all. Now let us sit down, ladies, and I shall ring for tea. There is so much to be done to get Pansy’s first Season underway! Dear me, Calliope, the time is too short. We have but two months to see your daughter suitably matched.
Lady John (fanning herself as they sit): One hardly knows where to begin! Goodness, me, a daughter–seventeen! You cannot imagine my relief when you offered to help me with her coming-out, my dear Heliotrope. I was never as adept in society as you are.
Lady B: Yes, but who is? Ahh, I remember when we were debutantes, my dear Calliope…
British debutantes of 2012.
Lady John: It was terrifying! At least for a shy girl like myself…
[Note: Visit http://thelondonseason.blogspot.com/ blog of ex-debutante Florrie Clarke, where I found this photo. Readers will be interested/delighted to hear that the political correctness nonsense that got rid of so many wonderful traditions in England has started to receive some pushback. Huzzah!]
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/the-return-of-the-debutante-1769953.html?action=Popup&ino=2
Lady B: Not at all. We are going to have a marvelous time launching Pansy! Ah, here is the tea. Now then. (Pouring.) To start, we must hasten to the milliner’s to order a suitable hat for Ascot.
Nice Hat! Kate Middleton's Mum at Ascot 2011
Furthermore, I am happy to say the ‘pushback’ as Ms. Foley so vulgarly called it above has also extended to the Ascot traditions. There has been some recent revision to the rules of what may and may not be worn at Ascot. Please, everyone, if you’re planning on attending Ascot this year, read these tips from to avoid committing a ghastly faux pas.)
Fortunately, I have found a fantastic young milliner named Aka Tombo to advise us on what will be all the kick this Season: http://reddragonflyakatombo.blogspot.com/2012/01/royal-ascot-hat-rules.html
Pansy: Oh, what wonderful creations! Do I really get to wear one of those, Mama?
Lady B: We must also take a turn around the Chelsea Flower Show, without which no Season could be complete…. http://www.timeout.com/london/around-town/event/234275/rhs-chelsea-flower-show
RHS Chelsea Flower Show advert
Lady B: But I can assure you, we shall be looking at more than flower. It’s an excellent place casually to scout out the young gentlemen of the first circles to whom you will want introductions later. If we should happen to meet our friends with interesting sons there, I will be sure to suggest a stop at Gunther’s for ices so the young people can get to know each other better.
Lady John: Excellent thinking, Heliotrope!
Lady B: In the meanwhile, it couldn’t hurt to make sure the gel is up to snuff on her etiquette. I’m sure you’ve schooled her well, Calliope, but let’s arrange for a three-woman panel of objective observers to give her a brief evaluation. I know just who to turn to!
Lady B: Now, I trust, Pansy, that you will in no way and at no time conduct yourself like these unfortunate creatures.
Pansy (horrified): No, ma’am! That girl was… was… in a most improper condition!
Lady John: I think I may be ill after that unspeakable display.
Lady B: Let it be a lesson to you, Pansy. (ringing hastily for the butler): Fetch the smelling salts.
Well, dear Ballroom guests, what romantic advice do you have for Pansy facing her presentation in Society–especially concerning the gentlemen she may meet? And in honor of Mother’s Day, what is the best/funniest/scariest romantic advice your mother gave you about choosing a hero and avoiding a zero? What do you wish someone had told you about males when you were debutante-aged?
May 10, 2012
1:45 am
Hi Gaelen, great post! I’ve been looking forward to it since your newsletter. Those finishing school girls are WILD!
My advice to Pansy is smile, make eye contact briefly and if she gets the chance – flirt! That is, find amusing things amusing and try not to show disgust when the gentlemen do something disgusting. LOL!
My Mom’s best piece of advice was always be prepared! She didn’t have to say exactly what she meant but I knew – especially when she followed it up with, “you don’t want any unwanted pregnancies.” ; )
The thing I wish someone would have told me – all men, no matter how good looking and sexy, end up the same way – old men who putt putt across a room, snore like freight trains and fall asleep in front of the tv!
Also, I hope it’s okay – I’d like to extend an invitation to everyone to join Avon, the Avon Addicts & Ms Lynsay Sands for her STAY UP LATE WITH LYNSAY Twitter Party tonight from 9PM – 10PM EDT hashtag #vampiremoon
Have a good one y’all!!
May 10, 2012
10:41 am
Hi Amy! LOL, methinks you are in rare form today. Crack me up! I like your old man description. *g*
That show was Ladette to Lady by the way. They took etiquette-challenged girls and tried to clean them up.
Thanks for the heads up about the Twitter Party!
May 10, 2012
5:10 am
I think Pansy should be herself, something I abhore when it comes to women and they’re conduct in starting a relationship is that they don’t carry they’re usual charming persona instead they behave with giggles and a hushed voice that they believe it would sure to attract.
And it may as well work but It always ends in tears in the end.
My mother, grandmother and great grandmother always had the same piece of advice when it came to love.
“Marry who loves you not who your in love with.”
I can’t say I completly agree with the notion but its what they kept tellingme over and over again.
Loved your post , Gaelen!
Xoxo
May 10, 2012
10:02 am
Noor, that’s such wise advice for a girl to be herself when seeking to catch a beau. So many young women pretend to be something they’re not, then in their 20′s or 30′s or 40′s when they finally sicken of being somebody else it leads to such pain. Why not start out a relationship being precisely who you are? It’s much more likely to guarantee a happy ending!
May 10, 2012
6:13 pm
I couldn’t agree more, but might I add that I think a happier ending would be for both parties to be true to one another, An example of that is a friend of mine, who married her first love only to realize later that she did not know him at all, He was intent on giving her a false image of himself and never really opened up to her about his problems/vulnerabilities, so yeah…
Be yourself
May 10, 2012
10:43 am
Hi Noor!
I’m so happy to see you here! Welcome!
I actually love that piece of advice from your foremothers. Deep! Very interesting.
Enjoy your day!
Gaelen
May 10, 2012
12:32 pm
That’s excellent advice!
May 10, 2012
8:45 am
What a fun post, Gaelen. I’ve spent far too much time this morning following all the links – I had no idea the Season was making a come back. The Ladettes video made me giggle. Who comes up with these ideas for reality TV?
I would advise Pansy to have fun and not to worry about getting married. Historical research had shown that most girls didn’t marry at 18, neither were they on the shelf at 25. She can afford to wait for the right man to come along. If she doesn’t try too hard, the guys will flock around her and she’ll never lack for dancing partners.
My mother used to say about men “there are worse things than being a little boring.” Well I suppose so. Can’t say I ever took any notice.
May 10, 2012
10:44 am
Nobody rocks a fascinator like Miranda Neville. *g*
I think Pansy would definitely love your advice.
May 10, 2012
12:34 pm
I know! I loved going to all those sites. So much fun.
May 10, 2012
12:59 pm
Thanks! How about those hats???
It tooko me a while to realize that the one in the Eliza Doolittle Ascot gown was not wearing an actual hat, but I think that was all her long blond hair (or extensions) braided, wired to stand out like tree branches, and lit with Xmas type lights! LOL. How do they think of such things??
May 10, 2012
10:14 am
Gaelen, I feel positively in the spirit of the Season now. Thank you!
I don’t remember my mother’s advice about boys, if you can believe it. But I do remember my father’s. He said that whoever his five daughters chose to love, he would accept those boys and men as long as they were kind. It seemed too simple to me then, but knowing much more of the world and people now, I understand perfectly. As for the silly boys I had crushes on and that tried to court me during high school and college, Dad called them all meatballs, except the German exchange student whom he called a sausage. I was amazed when, during graduate school, he met my French Belgian-born boyfriend and didn’t call him saucisson. So, naturally, I married that one.
May 10, 2012
10:32 am
Katharine, my father was the same way about every guy I brought home. He had a not very nice knickname for each one until my hubby. The first time he met him, he called him by name and has ever since – guess that was helpful tip off that he was the one I should marry. : )
May 10, 2012
10:46 am
My dad never said anything bad about any of the idiots I dated in highschool because he knew that would only make me want to go out with them more. So he just kept his thoughts to himself. Smart man.
But then, I was a pretty bad kid. Not as bad as the ladettes, though, I hope…
May 10, 2012
10:45 am
That’s hilarious. I love your dad already.
Glad to help bring on the Season mood! Cheers!
Gaelen
May 10, 2012
10:30 am
Great and fun post Gaelen! Best of luck to Pansy-I’m sure she will be a smashing success now that Lady B has taken her under her wing. And I completely agree withe the advice given so far-have fun and be yourself Pansy dear!
I think one of the best pieces of advice I ever heard about choosing the right guy is to see how he treats the other women in his life-his mother, sisters, etc. That can give you real insight into who he really is, and if he will treat you with love, dignity, and respect. If he treats them well, chances are, he’ll treat you well. The rule also applies to how he treats servers at restaurants too. As far as I’m concerned, if he is rude to the waitstaff or anyone percieved to be in a subordinate role, he’s out!
May 10, 2012
10:52 am
Hi Lisa! Glad you liked the post! I had a good time writing it.
I got the same advice from my mom about guys!
I agree with you about rudeness. I think kindness to children and animals is another big plus.
Gaelen
May 10, 2012
10:54 am
Hi, Gaelen- My advice is to marry for love and not money. I married at 21 to a 24 year old with nothing (Jack). I never thought about the future. My cousins all held out for rich men, married in their 40′s, and have kids the same age as my grandkids. Jack fell for me first, so I agree with the idea to marry someone who loves you more than you love them. Of course, I love Jack as much as he loves me now.
May 10, 2012
11:04 am
What a wonderful story! This made my day, Susan. Your Jack sounds great. I guess what do you expect if his last name is Knight??! Congrats to you both!
Gaelen
May 10, 2012
12:11 pm
Thanks! He is pretty great!
May 10, 2012
12:42 pm
Love this post, Gaelen! I think the only advice my mother gave me was to fight for things I wanted.
May 10, 2012
1:11 pm
BTW, I apologize for the F-bombs on the Ladettes video. I should’ve warned you at least – I didn’t realize UK and Australian tv is allowed to swear like that and show so much nudity.
I apologize if anyone was offended.
May 10, 2012
2:13 pm
My advice to Pansy would be to feel comfortable in her own skin. If you are comfortable with what you are wearing, how your hair is done, who you are with and what you are talking about it shows and it makes you a much more attractive prospect.
The funniest advice my mother gave me was never to be friends with men I wouldn’t feel comfortable introducing to my family as a boyfriend because there is always a chance they could end up that way.
When I was 17 aka debutante age I wish someone had told me that no matter how important it felt the boy who broke my heart wasn’t the right one for me and as impossible as it seemed I would get over it! I also wish somebody had told me not to be in such a hurry to be half of a couple and to spend some time becoming a complete, well rounded person myself first!
May 10, 2012
3:04 pm
What a wonderful post Gaelen! And there is so much good heartfelt advice passed down in the posts.
I was a bit of a wallflower at the age of 17 (shocking, I know) so if I were to give my younger self some advice it would be the same advice given when dealing with bees, bugs, and all creepy-crawly things:
They are more afraid of you, than you are of them. So don’t be so darn shy!
May 10, 2012
3:29 pm
Fun post- and I was also a little surprised at what they allow on TV, lol… But it WAS pretty funny.
My advice for Pansy is the same advice my mother gave me: don’t allow a man to change you. If he doesn’t love you for who you are, then he’s not for you. (This of course does not count if you are a drunken sot who swears like a sailor on shore leave, but otherwise, it’s pretty good advice.)
May 10, 2012
4:06 pm
Olivia, Kate, and Lucifer’s Lady, all beautiful sentiments of advice! I think one could write a romance novel using all three of those pieces of advice as the heroine’s epiphany… uh-oh, I feel some ideas coming on… pen, paper, quickly!!! *g*
Hope you all are enjoying your day!
May 10, 2012
4:45 pm
Thank you Gaelen!
I always enjoy anything of your writing!
I’m loving this community so far! Both my grandmothers were married multiple times according to them they were all happy with the men in they’re lives so I don’t know if they had a lot of beau or it was because they couldn’t bear to be widow’s / divorced :p
But I do encourage girls who are unattached to go for someone who had gotten interested in them first, Call me old fashioned but there is something charming about a man trying to catch your eye when you least expect it.
May 10, 2012
6:24 pm
Beaux*
The amount of wisdom I’m getting from the comments is mind boggling, so many insightful women with so much advice… <3
I hope this isn't something Lady B would dub as a "Blue stocking debut"
May 10, 2012
7:02 pm
I have been wondering IF I should put the “strange” bit of advice that my Mom told me. I never followed it because I never believed it. Just to say it is not politically correct and a bit on the bigot side.
If I had a daughter, I would give her the same advice I would give our Pansy. Get a man, who will treat you nice. One that has a nice sense of humor, doesn’t get too serious and tell you what to do and who to see. One that isn’t a free loader and if she can get a person who she likes as well as love, hold on to him.
May 10, 2012
9:50 pm
Pansy, my advice to you is very simple – believe absolutely nothing those young men say!
The most accurate advice my mother gave me was to prevent an “unpleasant “blessing” was to tightly hold a tennis ball tightly between your knees! On the other hand the bad thing is that’s all the advice she ever gave me about men!
My biggest problem as a debutante is that I’m under-tall which meant that most of those handsome men never saw me because they would look right over my head. The only good thing was that I never had to dance with someone who was shorter than I was!