Lady B: Miss MacLean! What are all these people doing in my ballroom? And what on *earth* happened to your face?
Sarah: Oh, Lady B! I’m so happy you joined us! We are –
Lady B: It’s rather difficult *not* to join you, gel; you’ve commandeered my ballroom. And it’s not even a day when you are usually *here.*
Sarah: Right. About that.
Lady B: And don’t think I didn’t notice that you entirely missed the ball yesterday. There were guests looking for you.
Sarah: I know. And I’m so so sorry about that. I do have a –
Lady B: I hope you have a very good reason for it. And for the abomination that is your maquillage this morning.
Sarah: I do! In fact, it’s the same reason! It’s the Jubilee!
Lady B (blinks): I beg your pardon?
Sarah: The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee!
Lady B: Which Queen?
Sarah (blinks): Queen Elizabeth!
Lady B: Miss MacLean, are you quite well? I believe the paint on your face…it’s possible it’s turned you quite addlepated. Queen Elizabeth has been dead for several centuries.
Sarah: Not that Queen Elizabeth, Lady B…the next one. Queen Elizabeth the second.
Lady B: Miss MacLean, I understand that you Americans think you know everything, but I assure you, I am a loyal subject of King George…who, despite sharing in your affliction now and then, remains our sovereign.
Sarah (pauses, considers her next words): Totally. But eventually, there will be a Queen (who’s a pretty nice girl). Two of them, actually, and some kings in the middle. One of whom will abdicate.
Lady B (eyes wide): Surely not.
Sarah: Oh, he will. And it will be a thing. In fact, it will be for an American divorcee.
Lady B: Now I *know* you’re mentally ill.
Sarah: It’s quite a story, actually…ends with a war and a stutterer. And there’s a fabulous movie starring Mr. Darcy.
Lady B: From the novel?
Sarah: Sort of. Yes. (Realizes the train is off the rails) But never mind, my lady, all this will happen a while from now. And the long and the short of it is…there will be a Queen who wears awesome hats. And carries a purse that contains who knows what. And who ultimately has a Diamond Jubilee. And actually has fun at it.
Lady B: My goodness!
Sarah: I know!
Lady B: You expect me to believe that a Queen will carry her own handbag?
Sarah (nodding): It’s a mystery to us, too. Anyway, there will be a week of celebrations, and I’ll get distracted by all the flags and royals and pomp and circumstance and miss a Thursday Ball. And then…well…then we have this conversation.
Lady B: And you arrive painted in the colors of the British flag?
Sarah (smiles): I do. But check out the others! There’s Gaelen in go-go boots, and Lauren in her faux crown, and did you see Sabrina’s shoes? And Tessa’s lips? And Kate’s incredible coat?
Lady B (considering the group): Dear me. That coat is falling apart.
Sarah: I think it will be ok. It worked for David Bowie.
Lady B: For David who?
Sarah: It’s not important. What’s important is that we have Jubilee fever!
Lady B (looking down her nose): I’m going to guarantee it’s *some kind* of fever.
Sarah: You really don’t believe me!
Lady B: I’m afraid I do not. The most I believe at this point is that you require a rest.
Sarah: Well…considering the jubilee is over and I’ve been furiously following it for more than a week, you’re probably right.
Lady B: Miss MacLean…I’m always right. You may use one of the rooms abovestairs. But do wash your face before placing it upon my linens, will you?
Do you have a favorite photo/video/moment/outfit/souvenir from last week’s Jubilee celebration? Share it in comments (photos welcome)!