21
Jan

The Story of Monty, Part 4

When last we left them, Monty and Perdita were soaring high into the air to escape a volcanic explosion.

Unfortunately, they lost consciousness due to the high altitude.

The next thing Monty knew, he was sprawled face-down on a sandy beach, waves lapping at his ankles.  His skin was crusted with fine golden sand, and his cracked lips tasted of salt.  A curious hermit crab tickled his ear, and he slapped it away.

Where was he?

A man standing on the beach

What a shame all my clothes were destroyed in the volcanic explosion.

“Perdita?”

No answer.

He stood.  No sign of her sweet face.  He cupped his hands around his mouth.  “PERDITA!!!”

Still no answer.

“Oh, no.  No.  I’ve lost her.”

Harold landed next to him, squawking something that sounded like, “That’s irony for you.”

He might have lost Perdita, but he wasn’t alone.  A throng of young men and women came dashing toward him, all dressed–if one could call this ‘dressed’–in red.  They soon surrounded him.

Baywatch lifeguards running on the beach

Imagine them in slow-mo, if you will.

“Oh my gosh.  Mister, are you all right?”

“We saw you wash up on the shore.”

“Do you need mouth-to-mouth?”

The scarlet-clad Samaritans offered him water and some sort of nutritious ration bar.  They lent him clothing of faded cotton fabric, dyed with indigo–worn and frayed at the knees, yet serviceable.  After the Amazons, he was overwhelmed by such warm hospitality.

“What magical land have I reached now?  Everyone is so good-looking here.” He looked down at his naked, perfectly bronzed and toned chest. “I am better looking here.”

He even caught Harold preening over his reflection.

“Where am I?” he asked.

One of the blonde ladies giggled fetchingly.  “California, of course.”

“California,” he whispered.  He was closer to Aunt Tropey, but still half a world away.  And who could tell what had happened to his poor Perdita.  “I must leave this place at once.  Do any of you fair maidens know how I might find a seaworthy craft?”

“You’d better ask Bodhi.  He knows everything.”

The red-clad maidens indicated a man with an unshaven jaw and blonde, shaggy hair.  He sat cross-legged on the beach, applying wax to a long, mysterious board.

“Is that some sort of sea craft?” Monty asked, drawing near.  “Does it float?”

“Yeah, it floats.  It’s a surfboard, dude.”

He had to get back on the sea one way or another.  Looking around, Monty didn’t see any other potential vessels.  It was this or nothing.  “Will you teach me to use it?”

“Rock and roll.”

Monty wasn’t sure he liked the sound of rocking or rolling, but he followed Bodhi into the waves.

Monty and Bodhi, one with the sea

Monty and Bodhi, one with the sea

Bodhi showed him how to paddle and stand up on the board–but no matter how vigorously Monty paddled, the waves threw him back against the shore, again and again.

“I don’t understand it.  What am I doing wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing, dude.”

“But I cannot escape this bay.”

“Why would you want to escape it?” Bodhi flashed a smile, his teeth dazzling white in his tanned face. “Look around you, man. This is paradise.”

“You don’t understand. I’m on a journey. I have duties, obligations. I must get back to England and–”

“Whoa, whoa.” Bodhi held up his hands. “Time to buck that uptight English establishment.  The journey is the destination. That’s surfing, bro. It’s all about the rush. The ride.”

Puzzled, Monty followed him back out into the water. He had to admit, his own efforts weren’t working, so perhaps it was time to try Bodhi’s advice. When a perfect wave came rolling toward him, he stopped trying to escape the bay. He turned, paddled, stood up on his board–and enjoyed the ride.

As he emerged from the waves, the surge of raw, primal energy pounding through his veins was more intoxicating than opium.  “That..was…”

“Pretty radical, huh?” Bodhi said.

“Magnificent.”  He lifted his arms and shouted into the sea and the roar of salty wind. “I AM A GOLDEN GOD!”

“See?” Bodhi chuckled.  “That’s the rush, man.  You were born to surf.”

Later that evening, after a rousing game of touch football with his scantily clad rescuers and a dinner of crabs and oysters roasted over a bonfire, Monty considered. Maybe Bodhi was right, and the journey was the destination. He liked California. Sun, sand, surf.  Maidens in scraps of red slowly jogging to his rescue.  The rush.

Perhaps this was paradise.

But then that night, he had a dream…

When he woke the next morning, his decision was made.

“I must go at once. I am needed. As a man of honor, I cannot hide from my duty.”

“Vaya con Dios, Monty.” Bodhi clapped him on the shoulder before dashing into the surf to chase another wave.

Monty scanned the beach. A trading vessel appeared on the horizon. He jumped up and down, drawing the merchant sailors’ attention.

“Now,” he mused, “if only I had something valuable to interest them, so I could pay my passage around Cape Horn and back to the Atlantic.”

“Squawk! Blow me down!”

Monty turned to view the bird’s discovery. “Harold, my feathered friend. You’re brilliant!”

Tessa here:  Okay, I’ll admit – despite living in Southern California, I am not tanned, and I have never surfed. Is there anything your local area is known for, that people travel thousands of miles to visit/do, and yet you’ve never tried?

Under choose your own adventure, Monty, tessa


  1. Jan 21, 2013
    1:33 am

    Love Bodhi! “The journey is the destination.” Great quote, Tessa and love the backside on that poor stranded man. He’s got buns that need nibbling. Thanks. : )

  2. Sabrina Darby
    Jan 21, 2013
    2:56 am

    Love the post, Tessa! What I want to know, is, if you already are California resident like me, can you still somehow get that Cali bronze polish?

    • Tessa Dare
      Jan 21, 2013
      11:32 am

      Sigh. I don’t know. I hear there are places one can have the bronze professionally applied, but I’ve never tried it.


  3. Jan 21, 2013
    8:04 am
    Jamie Beck

    Sorry to see Perdita and Rocky go, but the Baywatch part was great! It would be lovely to see Monty actually try to surf and all, but the visual pictures are VERY nice indeedy!

    Wonder where to next? :D

    • Katharine Ashe
      Jan 21, 2013
      9:01 am

      Who knows, Jamie. Maybe Perdita will be back! I hope so. :)

    • Miranda Neville
      Jan 21, 2013
      11:06 am

      We have no idea what has happened to Anisha, Perdita, or Rocky. However, there are more adventures to come. Perhaps they’ll appear again but it’s not up to me. Can’t wait to see where my fellow Authoresses take us next.

      • Tessa Dare
        Jan 21, 2013
        11:22 am

        Oh, I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of them. ;)


  4. Jan 21, 2013
    9:06 am
    Lady Susan

    Opened up the blog only to have a man’s very nicely toned butt staring at me in the face. What a way to start Monday! Did the blog end after the second poll?


    • Jan 21, 2013
      9:19 am

      I was wondering the same thing, Lady Susan. Usually, there’s a little somethin’ somethin’ at the end for us to talk about. Although, those delectable buns were more than enough to spark conversation! Happy Monday All!

    • Miranda Neville
      Jan 21, 2013
      10:59 am

      I enjoyed that, too:)

      • Tessa Dare
        Jan 21, 2013
        11:29 am

        And you’re welcome for the morning buns.

    • Tessa Dare
      Jan 21, 2013
      11:20 am

      Oops! I knew I was forgetting something. I’ve added a little bit. Thank you!


      • Jan 21, 2013
        5:58 pm
        Jamie Beck

        I came home from work and saw something new – Lisa answered the question she and I are from the same area.

        When my friends (who are from all over everywhere – we are a internet fandom group) came to my area, they were completely awed over all the history and everything in the Philadelphia area.


  5. Jan 21, 2013
    10:30 am
    Lisa

    This was fantastic Tessa! :) I LOVED Monty experiencing California, and the Baywatch and surfing bits were hilarious. And THANK YOU for all the visuals. I am hoping he will run into the Real and Desperate Housewives-plenty of damsels for him to rescue after al.


    • Jan 21, 2013
      11:23 am
      Lisa

      I live near the Philly area, so there is the Liberty Bell, and other historical sights and landmarks people come to see. There is also the Art Museum steps where tons of people try to run up, a la Rocky. I’ve never attempted that. The Pocono mountains are nearby, but I’ve never skiied. (I’m too uncoordinated-I’d just trip, fall, and hurt myself).

      • Tessa Dare
        Jan 21, 2013
        11:36 am

        I’ve never been to Philadelphia, but I’d love to bring my kids sometime. So many great historical sights! That cracks me up that people still try to do the Rocky run up the steps.


        • Jan 21, 2013
          5:59 pm
          Jamie Beck

          We claim the “Gonna Fly Now” song as our own. ;-)

  6. Miranda Neville
    Jan 21, 2013
    11:02 am

    Marvelous picture of surfing culture, Tessa. Must have taken a lot of in-person research – how lucky that you were close by. And how lucky that you don’t live in the frozen north like me where all the men are rugged up in parkas and boots.

    • Tessa Dare
      Jan 21, 2013
      11:21 am

      Yes, I am just *steeped* in surfing culture. If multiple viewings of Point Break counts. :)

      • Miranda Neville
        Jan 21, 2013
        11:26 am

        And I pictured you down at the beach yesterday, armed with notebook and iPhone.


  7. Jan 21, 2013
    1:24 pm

    I live in Houston, and I’ve never been to NASA. Shame on me.


  8. Jan 21, 2013
    2:36 pm

    This is so much fun. I love this story. Hm, there is an eco kyack tour that many tourists take. I’ve never been interested in it.


  9. Jan 21, 2013
    5:25 pm
    Lady Susan

    I live in Houston, up until a few years ago, I had not been to Galveston or the rodeo. Now I volunteer at the rodeo and when to Galveston last year.


  10. Jan 21, 2013
    5:47 pm

    Tessa, I live 30 miles outside Washington, DC – the only thing folks travel thousands of miles to get here for is to see the sights or attempt to run the government. I’ve seen the sights many times and want nothing to do with running the government. LOL!!

    Thanks again for those buns! Toasty warm and mouthwatering. *wink*


  11. Jan 23, 2013
    9:12 pm

    Hmm. I was caught up in the “sights” and it took me a while to make it down the page. Loving the story.
    I have lived in NYC all my life and have neve been to the top of the Empire State building, never went on a boat ride in Central Park and never skated at the Rockefeller Ice Skating rink. But I have an excuse for that one-I’m a major klutz who has broken more bones that I care to tell and not allowed to skate anymore!!

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